For the past about two and a half years, I didn't have a home. There wasn't a place I constantly came back to. But there were many places I called home. There is of course, my home in Israel, my family home. And there are the airbnb's and hotels I stayed at most of the past year.
I realize I absolutely love this lifestyle, though I'd like to have that level of freedom whilst also having my own place to go back to, for the sense of security and stability. I sometimes joke with people that I'm homeless but in the fanciest possible way, like, homeless but sleeping in hotels, homeless but staying in airbnb's for months at a time at breath takingly beautiful places. I realised a very tough lesson which was that in my industry, after 5 years of living in London, it mattered literally noting to my carreer where I live. I can make jewelry anywhere, I can make music anywhere, I can make short films and videos anywhere, I can write anywhere, post from anywhere and so on. And sure, I'm an Israeli resident technically, and at heart Israel is home. But I'm a traveler, and that's home. Home for me is airplanes and wild nature. Home is changing seasons with every new continenet I step into, it may all be the same season but in one it's humid yet so very clean and fresh (Norway), in another it's insufferbly humid but the views and the people are so worth it (Bermuda), in another it's freezing with snow and ice and so very beautiful in colors of sharp contrast (Maine) and in Israel it's windy, rainy one moment and brightliy sunny the next, always with a subtle amount of sand in the air I only notice in the first few days after flying in.
Home is change, change is...safe.
And I recognize that it may not be the best way to lead a life long term, if I ever have kids they'll need stability. My partner needs a lot more stability (autism). My family always seeks knowing or having confidence on when I'll be around with them, how to make plans. I know, I get it. I'm working on learning how to be okay in one place for a very long time too. But right now, wow. What a remarkable journey it's been. Trauma so intense quickly after October 7th the doubts I already had for leaving London at that time becamew a kick in the butt I am heartbroken for the reasons behind (the event itself, what followed, how it impacted my family and the antisemitism of people around me and so on...) but I'm so happy for how my life was very slowly rebuilt after I finally picked up the pieces. All my relationships, family and close friendships are more stable than ever, and I make okay money, not a ton but enough from my work with my partner on videos now and enough saved from my jewelry over the past two years so that I can save up my future earnings from my handmade jewelry business and invest back into the thing I'm most trained at and most passionate about, the thing I'm giving the most time to this year: music. And all that was achieved thorugh travel, through instability, through big personality changes and life changes, with 8 disabilities including episodes of dysfunction due to severe OCD and days of so much pain with my autoimmune condition. Somehow I still find myself embarassing and torture myself with insecurity, but I do my best to find moments to realize my achievements and look back onto the incredible views I've seen, people I've met and experiences lived. All that makes me already plan the new year, with plans for Japan, Cyprus and Germany before we're back in the states. So yes I guess I'm homeless, but home is where the heart is, and my heart is spread across the globe. <3
